Life Lesson #10- Just because a guy isn't a match for you, it doesn't mean he isn't perfect for someone else (and vice versa).
The #Frequent Flyer is only in town for a few days. He wants to meet up. Maybe he's here for work, maybe he's here for fun. Either way, it's Vegas so let's hook up while I'm in town!
JUST TODAY (after this post was already written), I received the following message (word for word). It came via Facebook Messenger, but you get the idea.
#FrequentFlyer- "Hi there I m coming on vacation to Las Vegas. Can we meet up in the hotel please"
Me- "Thanks for reaching out. Just a quick question. I don't know you, we have never met and we have never even spoken before. Why would I agree to meet you in a hotel? Does that actually happen? Do women typically say yes when you ask? I really need to know. Many thanks! p.s. It turns out that was three questions. I am anxiously awaiting your response."
I genuinely want to know if this works for guys. Any feedback would be appreciated! Is it a Vegas thing? Does this happen elsewhere? I couldn't imagine reaching out to some random guy saying..."Hey Random Stranger! I'm going to be in Nanticoke, PA for half a day and I was wondering if you want to hook up at my hotel?"
This guy can't wait to send you a dick pic! These conversations go something like this:
#AnthonyWeiner- Here's my dick.
Me- OMG, that's not normal!!! You should go get it checked out. How long have you had that rash???
The #ClockWatcher is a guy who gets upset when you don't respond immediately. Here's an example of a conversation with a #ClockWatcher:
#ClockWatcher (10:00 PM) Hey, how's it going?
#ClockWatcher (10:01 PM) Hello??
#ClockWatcher (10:03 PM) I take it by your lack of response you aren't interested.
#ClockWatcher (10:06 PM) Fuck you. I didn't want to talk to you anyway.
#ClockWatcher (11:47 PM) Hey beautiful.
#ClockWatcher (11:49 PM) You're fat.
#TheAccountant wants a detailed account of how many people you are talking to, how many you have met, how long you have been on the site, how they rank against the others, how many numbers you've received, etc. Numbers matter to #TheAccountant....sometimes before even asking your name!
#Propmaster is clever and quirky! His photos include all sorts of props - puppies, the rubber duck in the bathtub, wiener costume (this was a favorite of mine), guns, cars, kids etc. Hey, whatever gets the attention! I actually like the #Propmaster. Even if he isn't a good match, it's sometimes worth the conversation.
The #Magician disappears as quickly and quietly as he appeared. You haven't been talking long enough for him to ghost, therefore he will magically disappear (and there's a good chance he will reappear later)!
#HeyStranger is simple. Your first message is a simple "Hey Stranger!" Do you know him? Have you met? Have you talked before? Or is it a guy trying to get your attention and soliciting a response while you figure out how you met. The best way to handle #HeyStranger is to respond "OMG I am so glad we connected again!! I need to get back that $250 I loaned you a while ago!"
#AlBundy is a grumpy man. He is angry at his ex-wife, his job, his kids, etc. I envision #AlBundy on the couch with his hand down his pants. #AlBundy can also be a nice guy, albeit unhappy with several aspects of life and not afraid to let you know it! Also, he may or may not sell shoes.
This guy is ready to get married ASAP! Within minutes of talking, he is discussing potential venues, honeymoons, etc. It's great if this is what you are seeking, but for those of us who are not, it's the end of the conversation. My response is to bring up alimony. This normally ends that chat. I often wonder if #TillDeathDoUsPart actually has the desire to get married or has the impression this is what all single women are seeking.
#AshleyMadison is the married guy. Some married guys will tell you right upfront and allow you to make the decision if you want to move forward. But most of the time, #AshleyMadison poses as a single/divorced/separated man. A few ways to spot #AshleyMadison include:
- No Facebook or online presence. They don't use social media due to work/stalkers/issues with family/no need for it. Chances are they have an account...and their wife is on it.
-They will only text/talk at strange times. The first time I encountered an #AshleyMadison, I realized he would only text during work hours. If I sent a message after hours, he would response the next day during business hours. Another time I was talking to a guy who was only available to text after 11 PM due to his client meetings...every night...which ran until 10 PM or later.
-They are very vague on their home life. Where they live, who they live with, etc.
-They disappear for days, and even weeks, at a time with different excuses why.
-They don't give you their actual cell phone number.
We all have our own experiences with #AshleyMadison. Whether it's having been the wife of an #AshleyMadison or encountering one online (or both), we have reason to easily be skeptical in this day and age of online dating. At least, we should be.