Category: Bad Dates

#ExMrToxi

5/25/2018

When I first started with Sin City Bounty, I was the married co-host. #ExMrToxi was completely on board with my participation in the show and he would help out as well, whether it be in the studio, helping with the equipment on a remote or sharing embarrassing stories/researching topics (seriously, he shared the worst stories with my co-hosts!!!)

I met #ExMrToxi through some friends back with we both lived in San Diego. Our first date was to the movies. We went to see Very Bad Things. I remember thinking he was cute and tall....like really tall (6'5). I was nervous throughout the evening.

During the movie, my nerves didn't waiver. In fact, I think it got worse. A combination of nervousness and greasy movie popcorn started to turn into more. The next thing I know I had to excuse myself and go to the restroom. I'm not a public facility pooper, but OMG did I have to go! And boy...did I ever go. And go. And go. I was in the restroom so long that I basically missed the entire middle section of the movie (I'm sorry, Christian Slater!)

How does one recover from date diarrhea? Simple!

Life Lesson #14 - If you are on a movie date and get diarrhea, pretend you forgot which theater you were in!

The first date lead to many more and eventually it resulted in 15 years of marriage.

I learned a lot about myself from #ExMrToxi. During my 15 year marriage, my weight fluctuated dramatically. He supported me through crazy diets, a medically supervised liquid fast, gastric bypass surgery, personal trainers, late night gym sessions, weight gain and, finally, body acceptance. Throughout it all, he ensured I knew I was beautiful.

Life Lesson #15 - Be with someone who makes you feel beautiful at any weight.

My 15 years of marriage included a lot of ups and downs, both with my weight and in our relationship. Although it didn't work out, I will always appreciate that #ExMrToxi made sure I knew I was sexy even when I didn't feel it myself.

On a side note: #ExMrToxi started out as #MrToxi. But before he was saddled with that moniker, my co-hosts were throwing around possible names for him. He had a few of his own suggestions- Pussy Lover and Mr. 69 were the ones I remember (he had a long list). Suddenly one of the ladies shouted Mr. Toxi and it stuck. Not quite what he hoped, but it worked!

xo T

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#GoodLuckToxi

5/18/2018

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I tend to stay friends or at least connected via social media with guys I have dated.

It started out slow. First, #ICU (discussed in a previous blog post) announced he eloped and got married.

Then another one entered a long term relationship. Then another.

Another marriage. Another relationship. Another relationship. Another marriage. You get the point.

Each time I mention to Sierra how so and so got married, relationship, kid on the way, etc. "Hey, you're like the movie Good Luck, Chuck"!

It all culminated recently. I went on one date with a teacher. It didn't really progress from there. Three weeks later, photos from his wedding popped up on my Instagram feed. Three weeks! Despite stating he was single and had not been in a relationship for a year, bam!
Married out of nowhere.

I realized Sierra was right (Oh yeah, enjoy my acknowledgement this one time, Sierra!)

Good Luck, Chuck is a movie about a guy who dates women. After they go on a date, the women end up marrying the next guy they meet. This is totally me!!! I'm Good Luck, Toxi!!!

I feel like I should be using this to my advantage. Can I place an ad offering my services on Craigslist? Add it to my dating profile? Lead every conversation with "Hey, want to see a cool trick?" or "Do you keep a tuxedo on hand for special occasions?" There must be a way to monetize these services!!!

Although it's weird to think of myself as a stepping stone for others, I completely get it. There are people we are meant to be with and obviously I was not it for these guys nor were they it for me. The reality is that anyone actively dating is seeking some type of connection (whether it's FWB, dating, long term or marriage) so it's only natural that relationships will form.

I just wish they would invite me to the wedding so I can get some cake out of this deal!!!

Life Lesson #13- For the sake of future wedding cake, remain friends with your exes!
xo T

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#Elvis

9/13/2017

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I have recently taken a break from dating. It wasn't a planned break, it just happened. Thinking back, I realize what might have ignited the pause.

I was ghosted by Elvis. Yes, Elvis.

#Elvis

My bucket list is a pretty typical list.

-See Jason Bateman's bare ass (Done!!!! Thanks, Ozark!)
-Live on a goat farm but not actually touch or interact with the goats
-Memorize all the words to Romy and Michele's High School Reunion
-Play Kelly Kapowski in a Saved by the Bell Reboot
-Work for TMZ
-Go on a date with an Elvis Impersonator

#Elvis reached out to me on a dating site. I was hesitant at first and didn't respond to the initial request. But I quickly realized that chatting with an Elvis Impersonator might be cool. Maybe even bucket list worthy. Turns out, I was correct!!! Slap that on the list!!!

I had a million questions for Elvis and he was completely open.

Do you have the suits? Yes!
Do you drive a pink Cadillac?? Yes (for work anyway)!
Do you work at a chapel?? Yes!
Do you offer private Elvis events? Yes!
Do you sing? Yes!
Do you talk like Elvis during sex???
What's the strangest thing someone has asked you to do while dressed as Elvis?
(Notice I conveniently omitted the responses to the last two!)

It turns out an Elvis Impersonator is actually called an Elvis Tribute Artist. This town is full of them! But it's not limited to a Las Vegas treat. They are all over!!!

Elvis invited me out for crabs. I was noncommittal at that moment (Let's be honest, if you have ever eaten crabs with me you will understand my lack of response/hesitation. My elote eating disaster is nothing compared to my mad crabbing skills. The last time I went, I spilled two cups of hot butter and candle wax on myself and the person sitting next to me.) We left it off that I would get back to him.

Then....GONE! Vanished!!!! His account was completely deactivated!

I was ghosted by #Elvis!!!!!! It's a first for me. I had to share this with Elexia and Sierra. Sierra's response??? "Fucking blue suede shoe wearing pompadour sporting douche can!"

Elexia (who is not a fan of impersonators/tribute artists) told me to light a candle and be thankful he moved on.

Several days later, #Elvis reached back out under a new name. I ignored him. Afterall, I had already lit the candle. My Elvis days were done.

I realize I was so close to completing my (recently added) bucket list item. I think I stopped dating for a while because, at the end of the day, once you have been ghosted by #Elvis, there is nowhere to go from there.

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#OnlineDating

5/4/2017

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What's worse than matching with your ex-husband on a dating site? Matching with your ex-husband's uncle on a dating site! I learned Life Lesson #9 hard and fast!

Life Lesson #9- Choose your dating sites carefully! Don't be afraid to try multiple and see what works best for you. And whatever you do, DO NOT try a site suggested by your ex. It's awkward when you match up.

Aside from ex's and ex-in-laws, there are many different types of men you meet on dating sites. This list is ever expanding and I'll add more in future posts. Please note that there are many, many great guys online. I've met quite a few phenomenal guys and, for the most part, I have had many positive experiences!

Life Lesson #10- Just because a guy isn't a match for you, it doesn't mean he isn't perfect for someone else (and vice versa).

#FrequentFlyer
The #Frequent Flyer is only in town for a few days. He wants to meet up. Maybe he's here for work, maybe he's here for fun. Either way, it's Vegas so let's hook up while I'm in town!

JUST TODAY (after this post was already written), I received the following message (word for word). It came via Facebook Messenger, but you get the idea.

#FrequentFlyer- "Hi there I m coming on vacation to Las Vegas. Can we meet up in the hotel please"
Me- "Thanks for reaching out. Just a quick question. I don't know you, we have never met and we have never even spoken before. Why would I agree to meet you in a hotel? Does that actually happen? Do women typically say yes when you ask? I really need to know. Many thanks! p.s. It turns out that was three questions. I am anxiously awaiting your response."

I genuinely want to know if this works for guys. Any feedback would be appreciated! Is it a Vegas thing? Does this happen elsewhere? I couldn't imagine reaching out to some random guy saying..."Hey Random Stranger! I'm going to be in Nanticoke, PA for half a day and I was wondering if you want to hook up at my hotel?"

#AnthonyWeiner
This guy can't wait to send you a dick pic! These conversations go something like this:

#AnthonyWeiner- Hi
Me- Hi
#AnthonyWeiner- Here's my dick.
Me- OMG, that's not normal!!! You should go get it checked out. How long have you had that rash???

#ClockWatcher
The #ClockWatcher is a guy who gets upset when you don't respond immediately. Here's an example of a conversation with a #ClockWatcher:

#ClockWatcher (10:00 PM) Hey, how's it going?
#ClockWatcher (10:01 PM) Hello??
#ClockWatcher (10:03 PM) I take it by your lack of response you aren't interested.
#ClockWatcher (10:06 PM) Fuck you. I didn't want to talk to you anyway.
#ClockWatcher (11:47 PM) Hey beautiful.
#ClockWatcher (11:49 PM) You're fat.

#TheAccountant
#TheAccountant wants a detailed account of how many people you are talking to, how many you have met, how long you have been on the site, how they rank against the others, how many numbers you've received, etc. Numbers matter to #TheAccountant....sometimes before even asking your name!

#Propmaster
#Propmaster is clever and quirky! His photos include all sorts of props - puppies, the rubber duck in the bathtub, wiener costume (this was a favorite of mine), guns, cars, kids etc. Hey, whatever gets the attention! I actually like the #Propmaster. Even if he isn't a good match, it's sometimes worth the conversation.

#Magician
The #Magician disappears as quickly and quietly as he appeared. You haven't been talking long enough for him to ghost, therefore he will magically disappear (and there's a good chance he will reappear later)!

#HeyStranger
#HeyStranger is simple. Your first message is a simple "Hey Stranger!" Do you know him? Have you met? Have you talked before? Or is it a guy trying to get your attention and soliciting a response while you figure out how you met. The best way to handle #HeyStranger is to respond "OMG I am so glad we connected again!! I need to get back that $250 I loaned you a while ago!"

#AlBundy
#AlBundy is a grumpy man. He is angry at his ex-wife, his job, his kids, etc. I envision #AlBundy on the couch with his hand down his pants. #AlBundy can also be a nice guy, albeit unhappy with several aspects of life and not afraid to let you know it! Also, he may or may not sell shoes.

#TillDeathDoUsPart
This guy is ready to get married ASAP! Within minutes of talking, he is discussing potential venues, honeymoons, etc. It's great if this is what you are seeking, but for those of us who are not, it's the end of the conversation. My response is to bring up alimony. This normally ends that chat. I often wonder if #TillDeathDoUsPart actually has the desire to get married or has the impression this is what all single women are seeking.

#AshleyMadison
#AshleyMadison is the married guy. Some married guys will tell you right upfront and allow you to make the decision if you want to move forward. But most of the time, #AshleyMadison poses as a single/divorced/separated man. A few ways to spot #AshleyMadison include:

- No Facebook or online presence. They don't use social media due to work/stalkers/issues with family/no need for it. Chances are they have an account...and their wife is on it.
-They will only text/talk at strange times. The first time I encountered an #AshleyMadison, I realized he would only text during work hours. If I sent a message after hours, he would response the next day during business hours. Another time I was talking to a guy who was only available to text after 11 PM due to his client meetings...every night...which ran until 10 PM or later.
-They are very vague on their home life. Where they live, who they live with, etc.
-They disappear for days, and even weeks, at a time with different excuses why.
-They don't give you their actual cell phone number.

We all have our own experiences with #AshleyMadison. Whether it's having been the wife of an #AshleyMadison or encountering one online (or both), we have reason to easily be skeptical in this day and age of online dating. At least, we should be.

All of these hashtags could easily apply to women....or at least I assume. I want to hear from the guys! What types of women do you encounter on dating sites?? You can respond in the comments or directly to ToxiSinCityBounty@gmail.com. I'll include it in my next blog!

xo T

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#JizzInTheEye

4/15/2017

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We all have our own dating style. As I have previously mentioned, I tend to lead with caution. If I chat with a guy on a dating site, I like to talk a bit before handing out my number (and even longer before I will meet him). There are several reasons. First, I have established via Life Lesson #1 (see #TheFelon) that I want to avoid being murdered. Second, spare time is a hot commodity for me and I want to be sure there is a mutual interest.

One night (during the show) we discussed how our styles differ. For example, Elexia and Shaun of the Dead (one of our board operators) both tend to (or have in the past) connect and meet shortly after. After this discussion, I decided to feel empowered and just go for it!!

Life Lesson #8
Go for it! Throw caution to the wind! Give out your number. Go on the date.

#JizzInTheEye started out as a great conversation. He is a soccer dad with two kids, we had a mutual friend in common and the online conversation seemed to flow. With my newfound "go for it" attitude, I gave him my number.

The following takes place the very next day.

Bing!
Photo. #JizzInTheEye wearing a black leather dress.

Bing!
Photo. #JizzInTheEye wearing a hot pink mini dress and black gogo boots.

Bing!
Photo. #JizzInTheEye wearing full makeup with (did you see this coming??) jizz covering his eyes and a penis in his mouth (obviously not his own).

Me- "That was unexpected. A warning would have helped since I am not alone and had to quickly shield my phone."

Bing!
Photo. #JizzInTheEye wearing another black mini dress.

Bing!
Photo. #JizzInTheEye wearing the black minidress lifted up with a cock cage on his penis. (I will admit I had to look this up.)

Bing!
Photo. #JizzInTheEye wearing another hot pink mini dress.

Bing!
Photo. #JizzInTheEye with a closeup of his makeup.

Him- "Do you like me in pink?"
Me- "It's cute. I have to go."

I wasn't bothered by the dress or the actual photos. I firmly believe we all enjoy different things. This was his preference and he obviously felt comfortable enough with me to share. What I didn't like was that he gave no warning. Nothing. No..."Hey, some pics are coming your way and they are for your eyes only!" or "Hey, is this a good time for me to send a pic with jizz in my eyes?" Once I expressed that I wasn't alone, he didn't respect my words and continued sending pics.

Also, JIZZ IN THE EYE!!!!!! No, just no. If your makeup is on point, why are you going to ruin it? There are so many other places you could land that jizz. The eye is the worst one!

This. This is why I tend to be more cautious.

Life Lesson #8.5
(amendment to Life Lesson #8)
Go for it! Throw caution to the wind! Give out your number. Go on the date. Avoid jizz in the eye.

xo T

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Photos: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ellevalentine/6069376413 - https://www.flickr.com/photos/chrismillett/4595955195

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#ICU

4/5/2017

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#ICU
I've been known to take things too literally. This was one of those times.

ICU wasn't named right away. He was a nice a guy but really bitter about his ex-wife. We went out to dinner and the entire conversation consisted of him discussing his hatred of his ex and me discussing my love of WWE wrestling. I figured the two balanced each other out.

Life Lesson #5
When in doubt, try to change the conversation to wrestling matches. I highly recommend the 1998 Hell in the Cell match between The Undertaker and Mick Foley. It always makes for a great chat!

As the evening came to a close, ICU asked me out on a second date. I said yes because it was the nice thing to do.

Life Lesson #6
It's ok to say no. This is still a lesson in process for me.

The second date was similar to the first. The discussion centered around his ex-wife (again) and my theory on whether the Ultimate Warrior really died or was it yet another hoax.

After this date, it was time for me to seek advice from my dating guru. I have this amazing, beautiful, intelligent, witty (I could keep going, but you get the idea) friend who is an expert on all things. I mean ALL the things. Dating, check. Parenting, check. Cooking, check. Contouring, check. Threesome etiquette, check. Life, check. There's so much more which she has taught me. I'll dedicate a future post to the teachings of #Eve. For now, I had a problem and she knew just how to solve it.

Me: Eve, I'm not really interested in ICU, but I don't know how to tell him without hurting his feelings.

Eve: It would hurt his feelings more if you don't tell him and he finds out later. You want to be very upfront and honest. Just tell him... "ICU, you're a great guy but I don't think we are compatible and I wish you the best of luck with everything!"

A few days later.....

Me: Eve, I did it! I let ICU know how I felt!
Eve: Great! How did he take it?
Me: He was very understanding!! It went well!!! I think it was bad timing on my part though. He was calling me from the ICU.
Eve: You're a monster.

At this moment, #ICU was derived. I had followed Eve's suggestion to a T. In hindsight, I should have waited until he was out of the hospital.

Life Lesson #7
Don't be a monster.

xo T

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#TheFelon

4/4/2017

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#TheFelon

I met The Felon at an awards show. Sin City Bounty was hosting an event and we were also up for an award. It had been a bit of a stressful weekend and I just finished a day full of interviewing. I was rocking a hot, red dress to an after party and this is where I bumped into a former acquaintance (who happened to be friends with The Felon). I had originally met the friend years prior (and among my circle, this friend is referred to #ParkingLotHandjob for reasons I will explain at a later time...maybe.) #PLHJ introduced me to his friend and we spend the entire evening talking.

We were asking each other random questions.

Me- Have you ever been to jail?
Him- Which time?
Me- Swoosh (that's the sound of my panties needing to be thrown away in the restroom)

At that moment, #TheFelon was derived. For the record, I'm pretty sure he was kidding. I thought it was hot. I took a chance that it was a joke and I wouldn't end up in his trunk before the right was over.

Our first date was at a Mexican food restaurant. This is where I quickly learned my next lesson.

Life Lesson #3
Do not order Elote on a date!!!

I look like the Cookie Monster going to town on some cookies when I eat Mexican corn on the cob. Like seriously...the corn flies everywhere, lime juice drips down my arm, I blind someone with chile power which projected from my mouth... It's just NOT pretty. There is nothing remotely sexy about this look. Exactly what you want on a first date! Luckily, #TheFelon was able to see past my corn debacle with a solid promise that I would avoid this food on all future dates.

In addition to being my first actual date(s) since the Spice Girls were popular, I also experienced my first walk of shame. You know the walk, ladies. I took the whole "cute, messy hair with shoes in hand" march to an entirely different level. We were both attending another event which ended with a pool party. So my night ended with me, a pair of shoes and a bikini.

No ID, no phone, no room key. After a few deep breaths, my ass pranced up to the front desk as 6 AM (in nothing but a bikini, flip flops and some serious raccoon eyes with the remnants of last night's makeup) and had to ask for an escort to my room so I could produce an ID upon entry.

Life Lesson #4
The "walk of shame" is just a phrase. There's nothing shameful about getting laid. High five everyone you pass by. Give the knowing nod. Do the fake finger gun, mouth click if needed. Just try to do it fully clothed and not in a hotel lobby while wearing a bikini.

#TheFelon and I are still friends. He's a great guy who actually has no clue about his nickname. I know he will read this and, possibly, at first wonder if I'm referring to him. He will know for sure once he gets to the Elote part. No one can forget being blinded by corn.

xo T

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Toxi

I woke up one day and the reality of being almost 40 and newly single hit me. I had been married over 15 years and was definitely out of practice (Unfortunately my fantasies of a Mark Paul Gosselaar fling didn't count as dating). The thought of dating was both scary and exciting. My ultimate goal was to meet new people and not end up being the subject of a Lifetime movie about encountering your killer on Craigslist. At this moment my personal life lessons were born.

Life Lesson #1- Be cautious enough to avoid becoming the subject of a Lifetime movie.

Although this lesson is learning in progress, I've done pretty well thus far.

I'm super cautious, overly to an extent. But I'll discuss it throughout this blog. Despite my hesitations, I have enjoyed dating. I'm typically a private person when it comes to this subject. I speak in generalities on our show unless I have a guy's permission prior. This has made things interesting. I find there are two very defined sides and no middle ground. There are guys who ABSOLUTELY do not want to be referred to on the show and others who ask immediately if I plan to talk about them. I'm pretty sure this blog will not alleviate any concerns for those who have who are worried. I will continue, as always, to keep names private.

So I have these great dating stories which I don't share on air and now it's time.

Life Lesson #2- The best stories need to be shared.
Let people learn from you and take the opportunity to learn from yourself. Share in your joy, share in your pain...just share.

This philosophy was how our show came about. The original hosts had some amazing dating stories. When I first joined I was the married one. My fun stories involved jaeger, my ex leaving the toilet seat up and failed threesomes.

Now is my chance to catch up. Enjoy!

xo T

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